she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We need to get me chipped asap
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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