So drunk its hurt
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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