stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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