I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
