can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
In other news, I just burned my penis
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
