I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
