there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
