so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
