nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
