Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
