he wants to bone in the snuggie
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
