Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
