I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It was like giving head to a cactus.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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