But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
