It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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