There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
