i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
