Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
