I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
