goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
