I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
