420 ftw
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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