big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
