I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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