shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
