Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
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