Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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