Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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