I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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