It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
