She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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