And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
