I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
