Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize