Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
