ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
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