I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize