She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
