If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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