Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
