dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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