all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
