Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
