I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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