So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
