Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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