just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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