Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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