last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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