Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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