He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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