Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
