Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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