First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
