I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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