people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
