if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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