I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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