so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
